Ironic isn't it.
A lot has happened in the weeks since I last wrote. Those weeks have been, I am pleased to say, mouse free, but work and stress still continue to keep me from getting a decent nights sleep.
Yesterday I experienced what my good friend E described to me as 'The Fear'. It is something most students get, apparently, when they realise that actually, they've spent rather a lot of money on this thing called a degree, and that really, they should, after two and a half years, get down to doing some actual, proper, work. I consequently spent most of yesterday in the library fretting over how much I had to do, how little time I had to do it in, and how it was all my fault. If I were part of the annoying 'acronym generation' that social media seems to have given birth to, my facebook statuses would be full of fml's and cba's at the moment. Or should that be atm?
My problem is not really that I don't want to do my Uni work - it just that other things keep postponing it. Fuse has been a big commitment all year - but now that that has finished, it has only been replaced by yet another dreaded BBC application form. Yes that right, I am applying to the BBC again. Yes - I am aware of what I wrote in my last post, but this, this is the job of all jobs. Every media-wannabe's wet dream of a job. The Production Trainee Scheme. Or PTS for you acronymites. Only along with it comes the application forms of all application forms. It even involves a 'creativity test'. Jeez - do these people not know I am behind on my dissertation?
Speaking of the big d, progress has been rather slow. (What a surprise I hear you cry). I did however, finally conduct my interviews which were - interesting. You know you've not put the effort in when a first year management student quotes a text at you that's relevant to your dissertation, but that you've not read. Lets just say the moment was awkward.
I've done a lot of thinking about it - just not any substantial writing. But its OK, I've got 28 days, plenty of time to spend in the library. One plus is that I've realised if you bring your own teabags to the library with you, they'll only charge you 50p for hot water and a cup. A saving of 45p. You know what they say, 'look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.' Well - I just take pleasure in knowing that in small ways I am gaining back a little of my fees. Just another 18,000 cups of tea to go then. Excellent.
I haven't really said much about the ending of Fuse FM have I? To be honest - I haven't had time to really register it. Three years I've been with station. With it I've discovered skills I didn't know I had, found a passion for the radio I didn't know I had, made friends that I will keep for life and even found love. Ahhh. We had our awards ceremony earlier this week. I won the 'I've slept with the most Fuse members' award. Hilarious. The boys on the committee even planned for about 20 people to stand up and admit sleeping with me. They of course, haven't. My boyfriend T is the ex station manager. Some fuse presenters though, didn't get the joke.
So, I leave my legacy at Fuse FM - as a slut.
"End of Broadcast 20" - Student Direct Article featuring me. Please do read it. Its rather lovely.
Now - while I crack on with my PTS form and worrying about how I am 0 words down on my 13,000 word dissertation - I'll leave you with a nice quote that a dear friend of mine sent me;
"The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize" - Robert Hughes.
Well, that's reassuring.
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