And One More Thing

As pointed out by her, I forgot in my last blog post to mention my friend, Fee.

So here she is:

Working for Bob

Yes. I know. It has been almost four months since I last posted.

Four months.

I dont think I even have an excuse.

But, as seems to be the way, I will get you a little up to date on what has happened in my life since then...

I got an interview here:

I didn't get it.

I then got an interview at the BBC for this:

I got it. I know - FINALLY.

Then I quit.

Because I got a job with this guy:

And so that brings me up to date with where I am now; working a six month paid internship with Nickelodeon. As a result, I no longer live in didcot and instead live above this pub in Hackney:

Glamorous I know. Well, a paid internship it may be, but it'll be a while before I'm living in a plush flat in West London!

So, I should probably begin with how I got the internship. It's all as a result of The Network, which I spoke about in my last post, all that time ago. As part of the scheme you can apply for The Network At Work, which is a series of paid six month internships with various companies. After a preliminary interview, I got matched with two companies, CBBC and Nickelodeon, both for which I had to attend a second interview. Well, it turns out I didnt even have to go the the CBBC  interivew, because shortly after my one with Nick, I got the offer.

Two months later and I am assisting a fantastic production team in what can only be described as the nicest company in the world. Within my first few days we embarked on a huge shoot which took place at MTV studios, and lasted for six weeks. The programme we made is called 'Jamie and Anna's Big Weekend'. During the shoot I did a number of things, I assisted the Floor Manager, helped out in the office, and looked after celebrities. I'm not going to lie, it was amazing! And I still pinch myself everyday, espeically when I look back at how hard things were when I was looking for a job.

Perhaps one of the most exciting parts of this internship is that in January I will be joining the marketing team, to spend three months there. Marketing is something I never thought of doing, but it looks very exciting and I cant wait to be given the great opportunity of trying out something new.

So, after months of turmoil at University, and more months living at home unemployed, I am now finally on the bottom step of that big, intimidating ladder and I have at least three toes through the door. And I have to say, that it is all thanks to the amazing opportunity that was The Network. In fact, applications for next year are soon to open, so please I urge you if you are reading this and trying to get into the TV industry, apply now!!

I will definitely try to update my blog more often, to talk about how the rest of the internship goes and where I will go afterwards. But for now I will say...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The Network 2010

This weekend I was lucky enough to attend The Network as part of the MediaGuardian Edinburgh International TV Festival. It was four days of networking, wine consuming and skills learning. I was hoping to blog each night while I was there, but there was no internet where I was staying, so here I will let you all know what went on up in the chilly hills of Edinburgh in one blog post.

Thursday 26th August - Who the hell is Harry and the complications if Scottish Money.


Caught a train at 6.08am in the morning. A time of the morning I am only used to seeing when going to bed, not getting out of it. My dad dropped me off, still in pjs, and I sat cold and half asleep on the platform, cushion in hand, waiting for the train that would take me to bonny Scotland. Well, to Oxford, where I'd catch a train to Birmingham, where I would then get on a train to Edinburgh.

I had prepared for my 6 1/2 hour journey. I had a cushion. I had my laptop and several DVDs. I was sorted. What I had not accounted for was sitting next to a couple who clearly thought I couldn't hear them through my headphones and proceeded to discuss matters that I really had no desire to hear. I could only feel uncomfortable as they sat discussing his ex-wife, who repeatedly rang him to accuse him of not buying their chilren new school coats, while she, the new girlfriend pleaded with him to not talk to her on their weekend away. Oh joy.

But I arrived in Edinburgh, where I got a taxi to Napier University to meet my fellow Networkers. It was on route to Napier that I was to learn my first new thing of the weekend: Scottish money looks nothing like our money - yet it is the same. I withdrew cash from a cash machine only to stand looking with bewilderment at the notes I had received. I then spent the taxi ride there pondering whether this money was the same as ours, or did it have a different value? Can I spend English and Scottish money at the same time? It was all too much for someone who had been up since 4am, and who is also a little stupid.

On arriving and collecting my sexy network 'bag' filled with what can only be described as crap, I was led to my CV Clinic with Daniell Morrisey, Talent Business Manager at the BBC. In nicer words, Daniell told me my CV was basically a bit rubbish, but gave me good advise on how to change that. Good start!

After this I spent some time wondering around like a lost sheep when I found a Steward who directed me to 'Presenter Experience.' I was faced with a room of new people and I suddenly felt like I was back in Freshers Week, awkwardly talking to strangers hoping they would be my friend. It was at this point I found out the second thing I learnt while in Edinburgh; Arthur's Seat is not called Harry's Chair. Needless to say everyone laughed at me, but at least it broke the ice. Me and my new 'friends' were told told by Ewan, a CBBC Producer, that we had to prepare a two minute piece to present in a studio next door. I decided that I would play it safe and recite my favourite Road Dahl poem, A Hand in the Bird. It's a little cheeky and with a few actions, it went down rather well. Joel from Blue Peter, who was watching, even asked if I was 'a professional'. Now, he didnt specify what kind of professional, but I took it as a compliment none the less.

Once this was over, we had an introductory lecture from Director of BBC Children's and Chairman of the Network, Joe Godwin, followed by dinner and collection of our keys. We stayed in Pollock halls at Edinburgh University, which were pretty nice by the standards of halls. But we didnt have long, no sooner had I got myself in the room, I was out of it again, off to our pub quiz with Al Murray.

Now I'm not really a fan of Al Murray, but our own exclusive 'Compete for the Meat' pub quiz was quite a fun way to start off the weekend. With rounds such as 'The Career of Shane Richie' and 'Lookalikes that don't look like who they are supposed to look like' wine and beer flowed, crisps were eaten, (sometimes competitively), and chanting occured.

After the quiz we had a drinks reception where we could chat to all the people we'd met today. I mostly used this time to avoid speaking to important people who scared me and drink more free wine. A few of us headed out into Edinburgh, to mingle with the Festival crowd at E4's Udder Belly, where there were far less intimidating important people.




Friday 27th August - Trying not to throw up Haggis on Charlie Brooker.


After breakfast, which was of course a fry up, we headed back to Napier to take part in our morning workshops, which we had selected before attending. I attended workshops with Karl Warner, Commissioning Editor at the BBC who is responsible for The Inbetweeners, Russell Howard's Good News and Undercover Princes, Chris Shaw, Controller for Five, and James Kirkland, owner of Holler digital strategy agency. All were informative and enjoyable and I left having learnt a lot of new things from some quite important people.

We also had a session with Shamless, Clocking Off and State of Play writer Paul Abbott. I wasnt interested in Script Writing, but he was still an interesting person to listen to, if not a little abstract, with lots of talk of 'telling stories from within you'.

After lunch we met our weekend workshop leaders and found out what we would be doing. There were five possible workshops to be placed in and I had been placed in 'Behind the Scenes' where we were going to learn how to produce a live show, which would be presented to all Networkers on Sunday. Paul Bennett, Head of Resources at ITV and Sid Cole, Executive Producer of CBBC were looking after us and teaching us everything we needed to know. I was very excited.

We then attended the 'highlight' of the TV festival. The MacTaggart lecture, which this year was going to be given by Mark Thompson, Director General of the BBC. What I had anticipated to be a fiery reaction to the previous years attack on the BBC by James Murdoch was actually rather boring. He didn't even wear a tie. Pfft.

This was followed by a reception in the National Scottish Museum, with yet more free wine and Canapes. This is where I discovered the third thing from my visit to Edinburgh; Haggis is disgusting. They were offering it out in little canape versions, but it did not make it taste any better. I haven't ever eaten brains, but it tasted as I would imagine brains to taste. Unfortunately for me I had decided to try this culinary monstrosity whilst in mid conversation with Charlie Brooker. I had no choice but to eat it all. He'd already taken the piss out of me for apologising when I introduced myself, I wasnt about to spit up half eaten animal brains on him. Oh and by the way, the fourth thing I learnt; Charlie Brooker is exactly the same in real life as he is on TV. I didn't do a lot of networking that night. I find the whole thing futile. What am I supposed to say to a forty something man whos half pissed? 'Excuse me, hi, yeah, so, I 'd quite like to do what you do, can you give me a job please? Oops, sorry, I seem to have thrown up Haggis all over you, terribly sorry....'

Saturday 28th August - Being told I had 'moves' by a member of Flawless.

Saturday was mostly about preparing for Sunday's live show, learning the skills we needed to do it and allocating ourself roles. We learnt how to use proper camera, which was certainly a lot different to the hand held things I'd dealt with before. It was really cool, but I certainly wasn't confident enough to put myself forward for the role of camera operator. Instead I went for Assistant Producer, which I got, along with another fellow networker. It was an important role and I was very excited. We spent most of the day running around after the other groups finding out what they were up to and reporting back to the crew to try and work out the logistics of turning that into a live show. Some groups, like the Sky group, were brilliantly helpful. Sky Anchor Martin Stanford and Producer James Weeks knew exactly what we needed to know to organise the show and gave us detailed information on the news reports that the Networkers were producing, and how they wanted it to play out on the day. Other groups however, not so helpful. On approaching Joe Mace, former TV presenter and producer at ITV, I left not having a clue what they were planning on doing. I was to find out that this was normal when dealing with Joe.

After a day of reheasals and running around we were invited to a special EastEnders masterclass. Which you regular readers will know was just about the most exciting thing that could possibly happen to me. It was a discussion about the 25th Anniversary Live Show that went out in February this year, with the writers and then director, and actors Charlie Clements (Bradley Branning) and Scott Maslen (Jack Branning). They showed us clips of things going wrong and even sneak previews of future story lines. Basically the best hour of my life. Ever. After, Scott and Charlie had to rush off for a plane...did that stop me? Did it heck. I chased after Scott like the crazed EastEnders fan that I am. His agent told me he had no time for a photo, at which point I must have looked like I was about to cry because he changed his mind, came back and posed with me. A small personal victory.

Once I had gotten over the delight of my photo with Scott, it was back to a short production meeting for tomorrows show and then a late arrival at The Channel of the Yeatr Awards with Jack Whitehall. The awards were ok, only saw two of them being giving out, including Channel 4 for Best Channel. The first time BBC 1 hasn't won in forever. Well done Channel 4 I say! Sat with my fellow AP and Sid, who ate an apple through the whole thing and name dropped people he'd worked with. I literally love him.





Saturday night was without a doubt the highlight of the weekend. We had, for the first time, been permitted an invite into the exclusive MGEITF closing party at The George Hotel. And it. Was. Brilliant. We stopped off at what was the poshest Wetherspoons I have ever seen, got totally drunk on £6 wine and made our way to the place where TV dreams are made.

There were important people. There were celebrities. There was dancing. There was even a band madeup of important people. The Head of ITV was on keyboard. No jokes. That and that fact that they played only songs by The Rolling Stones pretty much meant they were the coolest band I have ever seen. With plenty of wine down me I lost all inhibitions, and approached every famous person I saw. I chatted to Matt Edmondson about his dislike of Children's TV presenter Barney Harwood, I told Krishnan Guru Murthy that he was the god of news, and I hugged Richard Bacon having told him it was 'an honour and a privilege' to meet him. (a little inside joke for the listeners of his old 5Live show...). I also got told I had 'moves' by a dancer from Flawless, runners up of Britain's Got Talent. He's even added me on Facebook. I'm moving up in the world. I danced with Producers and Directors and Presenters until 3.30am, the whole time feeling confused as to why on earth people had let me in to this party.

Sunday 29th August - "I especially enjoyed running around like a mental."

Unsurprsingly, I woke up with a hangover. I swayed my way to breakfast, with the full intention of easting museli and tucked in to a full fry up. I was nervous about the show anyway, but now had the added nerves of trying not throw up on Charlie Brooker. Again. We arrived and went through a full rehearsal, as us AP's ran about making sure eveyone was ok, writing cue cards for presenter of the show Joe Godwin and making sure people got their VTs in on time. At 11.45 it all kicked off. The Audience arrived. The 'Talent' arrived. I ran around making sure everyone was where they needed to be and didn't stop for air. I loved it. Every bit of it. And the show went brilliantly. Joe was happy, Martin Stanford was happy, I was happy. I even managed to hold back the sick.

After the live show we had a Q&A session with some broadcasters, inclusing Krishnan Guru Murthy who I had embarrassed myself infront of the night before. But, we had been asked by the technical guys if we could go ahead and film it, as we had done such a good job of the live show. I took on one of the cameras and loved it. Didnt get to hear any of the advise the peole on the stage were saying, just the whispers of the director in my 'cans' instructing me to get certain shots. It was a brilliant experience though.

And that was it. The Network 2010 was over. I said goodbye to the people I had met, who I will hopefully stay in touch with for a long time yet, and made sure Joe Godwin also knew had much I had enjoyed it, informing him my favourite part was 'running around like a mental.' Great.

Most importantly, I left with the enthusiasm and determination to succeed in TV I desperately needed after leaving University unemployed. Its going to be hard, but thanks to The Network I just might pull it off.

Drifting

I decided to get off my sofa this weekend and went for a visit to The Creative County to see T. We had quite an active weekend in all; walking in the rain at the quaint Baggeridge Park, cycling 5 miles to a crooked house, which as you can see from my picture is indeed, very crooked, and even had a go at Sailing at Himley Park. I say sailing. We sort of drifted if anything.


Not dissimilar to how I'm going through life at the moment; drifting along hoping the wind might catch soon, or that I'll come across something exciting in the water, like a job.

I had an interview last week for a position as a receptionist at production company in London. It went well I thought, I answered the usual questions well; 'where do you see yourself in five years', 'why do you want to work in television' etc., but alas I didn't get it. I'm not too upset by it though, and besides, the reception area looked quite cold, I probably would have hated it anyway.


Apart from that, job prospects are looking thin on the ground. My temping agency aren't doing much. The lady who represents me seems to keep forgetting who I am every time I call and consequently keeps giving potential work away to other people. Apparently though, assuming that she remembers me, there is a job going at a toy company near to where I live. The job title is advertised as 'sales administration' but I've done enough temping to know that that really means answering phone calls from Mummy Perfect complaining that her brat child's Timmy doll isn't peeing like it should be.


Today, thousands of students across the country are in panic, as A Level results are in, but Universities cut places. In my current situation I feel like telling them all its ok, that university isn't all its cracked up to be and that after three years hard work you'll just end up sat on your sofa in your pyjama shorts, eating chocolate brownies and blogging about how hard it is to find work. I know deep down that's not true at all, and that I don't regret a single moment at Uni, but I cant help but feel a little disheartened by the whole thing. Its like my nice framed degree certificate is looking at me, confused as to why its on my wall, and shouldn't it be somewhere else? Like on the desk of some accountant or lawyer?


On the plus side I went to the first recruitment meeting for the First Light Digital Documenters project and I have to say I am quite excited about it. The people are lovely, and the entire project sounds like a lot of fun. As production assistant I'll be getting to grips of lots of things as my team go about planning and producing short documentaries on various 'mygames' programmes happening in Birmingham. Although its unpaid, I'm going to learn lots of skills and it'll look all nice and shiny and job-friendly on my CV. I'll hopefully blog about my progress with the project as it goes along.


There is also The Network next week in Edinburgh which I am very excited about. My timetable looks good and I'll even be taking part in an EastEnders workshop where I'll meet Max and Jack Branning. Which, considering my sofa lifestyle at the moment, is just about the most exciting news I have ever had. Again, I'll hopefully blog about it while I'm there, let you all know what I've been up to and if you insist I will try and get some pictures of me with some celebrities. God, the things I do for you.

Daytime Television

A lot has happened since my last post.

I moved home to Didcot...

I've got some letters after my name...

And I've been on holiday...

...twice.

And so, after a rather exciting month filled with friends, sun, beaches, very hot tents, and some rather unfetching hats, here I am. On my sofa. In my pyjamas. Watching Homes Under the Hammer on TV.

So as you may have gathered I am still unemployed. Unemployed life was rather exciting when eating spaghetti on the roof of a lamia in Puglia, or watching The Specials under the stars in Benicassim. But now that I'm at home, unemployed life is rather dull. I spend most of my days watching property programmes and convincing myself that property developing is actually the best way to make money and that I should therefore stop applying for jobs immediately and buy a run down house instead.

This of course is ridiculous, and in between watching Tim Vincent show people how they can escape to the country and walking my dog, I have been attempting to 'sort my life out'.

I have applied to a few of jobs; an unpaid position as a Production Assistant for a project called Digital Documenters, a 6 week trainee scheme with the BBC, a position as a receptionist for a production company in London. I've even applied to write columns for a creative website. A lot of these I am still waiting to here from. The good news however, is that I got the first one.

It is exciting to get some good news for a change. And although the project is unpaid, it'll be excellent experience, and they offer a range of training which will no doubt be of use. It's also a project that combines my two passions, media and young people. First Light, who the project is run by, are a charity dedicated to giving young people the chance to gain media and digital experience. I love this, and am really excited about the project. Even if it is in Birmingham.

There is of course The Network to look forward to in a couple of weeks as well. I booked my train tickets the other day. A shocking £75. And it's over 6 hours long. And I have to leave at 6am. So, I will be nice and relaxed and refreshed when I get there then.

Despite my unemployed graduate status I'm remaining positive. I've signed up with a temp agency so I can work here and there to earn some money, and I'm simply making steps towards getting a foot in the door, as they say. Right now I'd be happy with a toe through the cat-flap.

Packing

Packing is horrible.

There are many different methods to packing. Some, like T, blitz it in a few hours, beginning only on the day that they will be moving out. My method is quite possibly the polar opposite of said approach. I pack slowly. Really. Slowly. I started a week ago and have been packing bit by bit everyday since. I don't know why I do it this way. Maybe, subconsciously, I actually enjoy it, and that by doing it day by day I am therefore prolonging the activity. Or perhaps its because I'm a lazy sod who cant be arsed, does 5 minutes worth and then gives up. I'll let you decide that one blog readers.

On this occasion packing has been particularly slow, because I am moving it home to a considerable smaller room. If you can call it a room. So instead of chucking everything in bags, I am going through it all. Sorting it. Throwing away things I don't need.

And that brings me to my second problem. I have some sort of disability where I cannot throw things away. Tickets stubs. Pretty boxes that for the last three years I've not yet found a use for, but one day I just might, even my notes. Yes you heard me readers. I am not a note burner. I was not one of those who left there last exam and celebrated like a pagan over the flames of my notes. I keep them. God knows why. I have them all, from first year. I am a hoarder. Oh god. I'm my nan.

It's two days until I leave University. Forever. Sounds dramatic doesn't it? The feeling of indifference is still there - but I know that there is a torrent of emotion that will spill everywhere the minute I'm on the M6 heading south. I had a lovely weekend with everyone. Pangaea was great. This is the huge end of term festival where the entire Union is opened up with beaches, bands, orchestras, games, you name it its there. Everyone parties until 7am and then walks home to continue the celebrations there. I left at 5am. I don't remember wanting to leave at 5am. I have memories of my friends telling me I probably should and sort of just, going. Like a hypnotised drunken mess. It wasn't until I was on the bus that I remembered I had no keys. So I spent three hours passed out in my friend M's bed until someone could let me in. Excellent. Following that was Parklife. Another festival, but in Platt Fields Park in Fallowfield. Equally as good, but with cider at £4 a bottle there wasn't a chance of me getting as drunk as I was at Pangaea. I'm a student. I'm frugal.

This has been followed by the summer school I'm working on. 100 14 years olds for three days. Delightful. Although this year I am supervisor, which in some respects means taking on more responsibility, but in other respects means choosing the best group to hang around with, or the best workshop to sit in on. (Most of the time this is the ones that involve food in some form). It's fun, but hard work and tiring. Story of my life.

Right best get on. My things aren't going to hoard themselves you know.

A Feeling of Indifference.

I finished my exams two weeks ago. Thats right, TWO weeks ago. You would have thought, dear blog readers, that on finishing my exams and therefore ending my three year long relationship with university, that the first thing I would do is blog about it.

Well, apparently not. It is only now, on a rare day off, that I realise I haven't blogged about the 'end'. After some pondering over why on earth I didn't leap at my laptop the minute I drunkenly came in the evening of my last exam, I realised that blogging has very much been a tool of procrastination and distraction since I began earlier this year. Now though, I have nothing to procrastinate and distract me from, and it would appear my blog has been the victim of this freedom.

Finishing exams, and University, has left me with a feeling of indifference. Similar to how I felt when I finished my dissertation, I am neither joyous nor sad. I predict however, that the sadness will hit once I have moved home to that place I am so fond of, Didcot. The next week is quite hectic, with end of term parties and then a summer school that I'm supervising, so I have begun the process of packing now, and already this has begun to make me feel slightly melancholy. All the things I have procured over the last three years, silly memorabilia that at one point was probably part of some hilarious in-joke between myself and my housemates, but that is now just a bit of crap.

A part of me is relieved. Living with 9 people is hard, as is the mess that comes with it. I wont necessarily miss the mice, the mysterious puddles of water that appear on the bathroom floor, or the left over takeaways that one particular housemate seems intent on leaving outside my bedroom door. And while a part of me longs for fresh food, cleanliness and quiet, I know that the minute I have all that, I will miss all this.

I wont go on too much, or I really am in danger of getting emotional, and I think I'll save the memories and dedications for another time, perhaps after the madness that will be this weekend.

On a different note, I had my first interview last week. It was for the position of production junior at a small production company based in Manchester. Having not had a 'proper' interview before, it is safe to say I was more nervous about this than my exams. I went along, and after a very short interview, was home half an hour later. Immediately I thought it was so short because they didn't like me. I didn't get the job, so maybe I was right. Who knows.

But, all is not bad news. I found out last week that I have made it onto coveted scheme, The Network. This is a five day placement involving workshops, master classes and activities for those wanting to make it in television, at the Media Guardian Edinburgh International Television Festival. Thousands of people applied and only 100 got on, so as you can imagine I am very happy!

So, as university comes to an end, I am plunged into a hiatus of uncertainty. But for now, I have an amazing summer ahead, with Italy, Benicassim, and now Edinburgh to look forward to, some amazing people to spend time with and some doors to open and explore. Bring it on world, I have my lashmina on and I'm ready to PARTY.

An Appreciation of Spider Diagrams.

Summer is here. Sort of.

The sun is out, the faint smell of burning meat fills the air, the British public swarm into their gardens to make the most of what little warmth we will get and the sound of lawn mowers fills our ears as we stroll to our destinations in skirts and sunglasses.

A great time to be revising for final exams then.

I shouldn't really complain. As much as I love Sociology, it's not the hardest thing to revise for. I watch as others around me have to memorise endless pages of numbers and equations and impossible terminology. While I spend most of my time making unnecessarily colourful spider diagrams. Sadly, I get excited about revision because its the one time of the year I get to legitimately over-use highlighter pens and buy notebooks. It satisfies my thirst for stationary.

Also, the nature of Sociology exams means I pretty much know the type of questions that will appear, meaning I can select the easiest...sorry, the most interesting topics from each module and revise them. And by revise I mean write my notes out and highlight words that look like they should be important.

I did consider putting a little bit more effort into my revision this time round. You know, what with these being my last exams and all. But it wont happen. I know if I did work harder I could move out of my low 2:1 comfort zone and push for a high 2:1 or god forbid, a first. But just like I said I would begin writing my dissertation before Christmas, I wont. It's like the final sprint at the end of a long jog; in my mind I really want to do it. But in reality, I am a sweaty mess that has struggled to run a mere mile and will happily crawl the last few meters, let alone sprint, just so long as I get there.

My motivation for revising is also marred by the impending doom of moving home. Now, this is no reflection on my family. They are in fact lovely. And the idea of living in, well, a habitable home is appealing, as are the cooked dinners. It's more the principle of moving home. It's a step backwards. I'll have to abide by my parents rules again, something I've not done in three years. It's also the fact that I'll be moving back to what is quite possibly the most depressing town in existence. Didcot. For a little town, Didcot is quite famous. It has a Power Station. A train Station. A Nuclear Laboratory. Oh, and it featured in The 50 Worst Places to Live in Britain. It was number 20.

I suppose the clear solution to this problem would be to stay in Manchester. Most of the girls I am friends with here are moving in together, but my lack of job means I don't want to commit to a 12 month contract. The fact of the matter is, at home I will save money. Yes, I will probably sink into a pit of despair, choke from coal fumes or die of radiation poisoning, but at least I will save some money.

As far as jobs are concerned, it's not looking much brighter. I heard back from the BBC, and as you and I both guessed, I failed to make it on the coveted Production Trainee Scheme. Judging by the date I received the 'Hi, thanks for all the time you put into this application, we've had a good look at it, and basically, on this occasion, you're shit.' email, I didn't even make it past the creativity test. Pah. They should come down here and take a good look at one of my spider diagrams, then they'll see who's 'creative'.

On a more cheery note, I do have two holidays to look forward to, and that will hopefully postpone my inevitable glumness. T and I are going to South Italy for 10 glorious days of sun, pool, pizza and vino after exams. It'll be our first holiday together. Ahhhh. Quality time. Even if he will be under the umbrella most of the time while I baste myself in the UV rays. Then in July me and the girls from Uni will be jetting of to Benicassim in spain for good music, sun and even more vino. Things aren't all bad then.

Right, c'mon then Marxy, its time to put some colour into that oppressed life of yours....now where did I put the pink......?

Tea is Drunk.....to keep you healthy!

Imagine my delight when I woke up this morning and saw this news story on the BBC News website.

At least I am doing something right! Although I think perhaps my tea drinking habits would be all the more healthier if I didn't take two sugars...

The Beginning of the End

Almost 30 books, 33 pages, 12, 111 words and countless cups of tea later, my dissertation hell is over.

I write this sat at the Blue 1 computer cluster of John Rylands University Library, having just finalised and printed my dissertation. Thats right, that thing that I've been moaning about for the last four weeks. It's finished. Complete. Printed. What I feel now though is not the sense of elation that I was expecting, more a feeling of dread, knowing that there is nothing I can do now.

I am of course relieved. This thing has been on my mind so much I have been dreaming about it. I have become involved in what can only be described as a complicated relationship with John Rylands Library and I haven't been able to watch a single episode of Eastender's without feeling guilty about it. But the thing I look forward to the most is having a conversation that isn't about it. For the last few weeks, I'd say 8 out of 10 of my conversations with other people have begun, "Hi, hows your work going?" Well now I can just shout "Finished!" in their faces and run away laughing.

I think though that my sense of dread is not just a matter of no turning back, but also of all the things that are looming now that it's finished and I can longer use it as an excuse to put off my life. Job applications, Fuse stuff, holiday stuff, other modules. It just doesn't stop.

Matters have been made slightly worse by my recent 'I-dont-know-what-to-do-with-my-life' panic. But what about media?! I hear you cry. Well, it's not that I've suddenly decided that's not what I want to do, it's simply that other options have come to light. My mum for some time now has tried to pursuade me to be a teacher, but I've always dismissed her wishes, as have most people I have come across throughout life. Teaching apparently,aint as good a job as you'd think. The thingis, I love kids. For the three years I've spent at uni, I've had a job as a Student Ambassador, working with disadvantaged youths from all around Manchester. It seems though that it's taken me three years to realise that I really do rather enjoy working with these kids, and making a difference to their lives. Now I am left with a dilema. Keep on trying to get a job in the media, or turn my back on 7 years of hard work and try something new? The conclusion I came to last night whilst fretting over this, is to simply do both, and whichever one means I dont have to spend the next year at home, wins.

Where I'll be come June and next year will have to wait however. For now, my priority is finishing my degree. Only one more essay and two more exams to go. By 27th May it'll all be over. I dont know if this makes me happy or sad. Whilst I am totally fed up of being a student, living in what is almost certainly squalor, having no money, hours spent in the library, the 'real world' is just far too scary.

Urgh. I'm going for a brew.

Wonder's Full

I remember my first appearance on TV. It was almost 5 years ago at a Red Nose Rally event at the Harwell Science and Innovation Campus. We had to build little rockets filled with some chemical or other, which when lit would create a small explosion and shoot it into the air. I remember being interviewed by BBC South Today and saying lots of twaddle like 'science is really fun and can be quite interesting.' In reality, at the time, I couldn't have disagreed more. I had just begun studying for my A-Levels, and had purposefully avoided anything involving Maths or Science. There wasn't anything about either which struck me as interesting, and I certainly did not find it fun. I just wanted to get on the telly.

Five years later though and I have a completely different outlook on the world of atoms, quarks and gravity. This is thanks mainly to two people. The first is T, who studied physics for his undergraduate. As our relationship has grown, so has my fascination and admiration for his mind. I feel stupid compared to him, but I don't mind. I find, having not been subjected to ruthlessly memorising the boring parts of physics - that I am like a wide-eyed child again, hearing about the fun stuff, the outstanding stuff, the stuff that simply blows my mind. How the sun was formed, that all the billions of stars we see are the same size as our sun, that when we touch things, we don't actually 'touch' them - we are merely feeling the effects of electro-static force. I could even name you some constellations in the sky.

As if the BBC were in tune with my new found fascination with science, Wonders of the Solar System has started on BBC 2. Presented by the captivating Professor Brian Cox, a physicist based at my very own University of Manchester, a researcher on the Large Hadron Collider, and the keyboard player in 90's band D:Ream. Things, it would seem, really did get better for Brian Cox. Now, whether you care about the solar system or not, it would have been very hard to miss this compelling TV series the past few weeks, or Brian Cox for that matter. A quick glance at twitter on a sunday will tell you that, or the fact that in the space of a week Cox has appeared on Radio 2 and the hugely popular Friday Night with Jonathon Ross - despite being relatively unknown. An amazing feat for a nerdy scientist.

So why is wonders so, wonderful? A lot of it is down to Cox - he has an amazing way of making the most complex theories understandable for any mind. But, for me, the most striking thing about him, is the childish fascination he still has for physics, despite having studied the topic for almost 20 years. You can hear in his giggles that the Universe simply amazes him. He explains theories by relating them to everyday objects, that are more manageable for our inferior brains. Explaining the heat loss of planet in episode 4 for example, by relating it to a cup of tea. In the very first episode Cox conducts a simple experiment to measure the energy of the sun. On discovering that the answer is an astonishing 400 million, million, million, million watts, he grins at the camera and states "and that's why I love physics." Well Brian, that is why the nation, loves you.

But it is not just about the charisma of the rock star physicist. Cox explains it well, but it is the topic itself that is, if you excuse the pun, the shining star. Where we came from is a question that has baffled and gripped the minds of civilisation almost from the very moment we came into existence. Religions sought to find the answer soon after that. But it is science, physics, that has in my opinion, come the closest. Physics, governed by the rules of mathematics, and yet it is so - magical. Wonders of the Solar System has brought the importance of this discipline, and how it can help us answer that unanswerable question, into the public and political arena. The programme has sparked articles from the likes of Suzanne Moore, as well as political debate as Cox tries to make science a key election issue.

I admit, I will never grasp the complicated equations, or truly understand quarks, but that does not mean the Universe cannot amaze me. The fact that we know so much about something so unfathomably big, is an achievement we as the human race should be very proud of. Yes there are flaws, or one big flaw if you think that we still don't know what 'dark matter' is yet we know it makes up 90% or so of our Universe, but to send a satellite into space and capture an ice-volcano erupting from Titan, now that, is a wonder.

Too Busy to Blog

I am too busy to blog about being too busy.

Ironic isn't it.

A lot has happened in the weeks since I last wrote. Those weeks have been, I am pleased to say, mouse free, but work and stress still continue to keep me from getting a decent nights sleep.

Yesterday I experienced what my good friend E described to me as 'The Fear'. It is something most students get, apparently, when they realise that actually, they've spent rather a lot of money on this thing called a degree, and that really, they should, after two and a half years, get down to doing some actual, proper, work. I consequently spent most of yesterday in the library fretting over how much I had to do, how little time I had to do it in, and how it was all my fault. If I were part of the annoying 'acronym generation' that social media seems to have given birth to, my facebook statuses would be full of fml's and cba's at the moment. Or should that be atm?

My problem is not really that I don't want to do my Uni work - it just that other things keep postponing it. Fuse has been a big commitment all year - but now that that has finished, it has only been replaced by yet another dreaded BBC application form. Yes that right, I am applying to the BBC again. Yes - I am aware of what I wrote in my last post, but this, this is the job of all jobs. Every media-wannabe's wet dream of a job. The Production Trainee Scheme. Or PTS for you acronymites. Only along with it comes the application forms of all application forms. It even involves a 'creativity test'. Jeez - do these people not know I am behind on my dissertation?

Speaking of the big d, progress has been rather slow. (What a surprise I hear you cry). I did however, finally conduct my interviews which were - interesting. You know you've not put the effort in when a first year management student quotes a text at you that's relevant to your dissertation, but that you've not read. Lets just say the moment was awkward.

I've done a lot of thinking about it - just not any substantial writing. But its OK, I've got 28 days, plenty of time to spend in the library. One plus is that I've realised if you bring your own teabags to the library with you, they'll only charge you 50p for hot water and a cup. A saving of 45p. You know what they say, 'look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.' Well - I just take pleasure in knowing that in small ways I am gaining back a little of my fees. Just another 18,000 cups of tea to go then. Excellent.

I haven't really said much about the ending of Fuse FM have I? To be honest - I haven't had time to really register it. Three years I've been with station. With it I've discovered skills I didn't know I had, found a passion for the radio I didn't know I had, made friends that I will keep for life and even found love. Ahhh. We had our awards ceremony earlier this week. I won the 'I've slept with the most Fuse members' award. Hilarious. The boys on the committee even planned for about 20 people to stand up and admit sleeping with me. They of course, haven't. My boyfriend T is the ex station manager. Some fuse presenters though, didn't get the joke.

So, I leave my legacy at Fuse FM - as a slut.

"End of Broadcast 20" - Student Direct Article featuring me. Please do read it. Its rather lovely.

Now - while I crack on with my PTS form and worrying about how I am 0 words down on my 13,000 word dissertation - I'll leave you with a nice quote that a dear friend of mine sent me;

"The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize" - Robert Hughes.

Well, that's reassuring.

Occasional Unsuccessful Applications

"Thank you for applying for the position of Runner Pool - Manchester. We have carefully considered your application and regret to advise that your application has been unsuccessful on this occasion."

Thanks very much BBC, for advising me that my application was unsuccessful. Oh hang on, it was only on this occasion. In that case, BBC, on what occasion will my application be successful?

If I'm honest I am a little gutted about this. I know that I will get many rejections while applying for jobs, but knowing that I tried my absolute hardest in answering the cryptic questions the beeb seem intent on setting, has knocked me somewhat. It was a runner pool for crying out loud, who exactly are these people looking for?!

Perhaps I should stop obsessing over getting my first job at the BBC. There are other broadcasting corporations out there, believe it or not. Saying that though, they are launching their production trainee scheme 2010 next week. If my predecessor at Fuse FM can get on it, surely I am in with a shot too?

Despite this set back, I am feeling slightly more sane than at the time of my last post. I think its something to do with the sun shining today. It might also have something to do with the fact that I caught the mouse last night. On a glue trap. Not the most humane method I know - but the damn thing was too clever for conventional traps. Not too clever for some brazil nuts sprinkled on a slab of glue though eh, mr mouse.

I got my exam results back too, a few hours after receiving 'the email' from the BBC. They were good, thank god. A 68 and a 63, two sturdy 2:1's. I think I had been hoping for a cheeky first in there somewhere, but that's me in a nutshell: optimistic. Realistically a 2:1 is great, especially considering how much time I spend on my course, or rather, how little time.

As far as the dissertation is going, well, it isn't. I had my presentation last week though. I wish I could say how it went, but the fifteen minutes is a blur to me. I remember saying the words 'interaction' and 'facebook' a lot. And gesticulating too much. But that's about it. I'm giving a talk this week to second year sociology students, to prepare them and encourage them with their own dissertations. I will tell them that's its fun and exciting, to study something you love, and that its not as scary as they think. This is of course, a lie.

Teapots, Tantrums and Mice.

I have reached melting point.

Once again I have bitten off more than I can chew and the times when I am not busy I spend moaning about how busy I am. I am not a fan of this person I have become. She is tired, grumpy, almost always hungry, pessimistic and prone to tantrums.

An example of one such tantrum, is when the other night my house mate caught me rather aggressively man-handling my chair out of my room at 3am, with the utmost certainty that it was this chair the mouse was using to get onto my worktop. Yes that's right, I have the mouse from hell inhabiting my room. Most mice, you would think, are in search of food. Oh no, not this mouse. This mouse takes casual strolls across my furniture and stares me out whilst perched on my hat stand, fully ignoring the lump of cheese attached to the trap on my floor.

To add to this, Fuse FM has started its 20th broadcast, and once again I am plunged into a world that I both love and hate. This is what I want to do, just not whilst doing a dissertation, working and job hunting at the same time.

God, listen to me. Even I'm boring me. I want to go out. I want to drink so much that it takes me four voicemails just to tell T that I love him. I want to watch Eastenders and Channel 4 documentaries about pregnant women without feeling guilty about it.

On the plus side, T bought me a teapot for Valentines (despite agreeing we're not going to do presents...but anyway). This is quite possibly the most exciting thing to happen to me in the last few weeks. It comes with a cute cup and I have even resorted to hanging milk out of my window in a plastic bag so that I can have teapot-tea when I like. If it wasn't for said teapot and the steady supply of hot tea it brings me, I fear it may have been me hanging out of my window in a plastic bag.

Despite my moaning however, the last couple of weeks have been good on a journalistic level. I have produced two video reports which can be found here, implemented Fuse's 'Hot Topics', and achieved our first ever live bulletin.

I just hope that all this hard work pays off. I have yet to hear back from the BBC, which worries me a little. To be honest I have been somewhat slack on the ol' job applications of late. There are just so many and they are all so epic. BBC North has opened its applications for Media City, the Mecca of the broadcasting world, all you need to do is upload your CV.

Right, should probably get on with writing my CV then.....

Dissytation

I had another of those every-now-and-then dissertation lectures today, which I swear are made not to give you advice and words of encouragement, but to scare the crap out of you.

"By now, you should all have done your literature review, your methodology section, and begun collecting your empirical research..." Oh, really?. I have barely picked up a book. Surely, after years of dealing with the species that is the student-race , these people know that we aren't organised.

I know - I've not done any work, what a surprise. But there is more to me than a simple cliché. I have had so much to do I have barely found time to read the thirty or so books I am supposed to. Well, I could have found time had I sacrificed going out, eating, Christmas and my life in general.

I'm not shifting blame, I know being behind is my own fault as well, but I feel as a student it is my duty to laugh in the face of motivation. In my head I have all these ideas about how I'm going to make an effort this year. There have been several times where I have sat down, books open and pen at the ready with every intention of working, but before I know it I'm watching 'Ukulele Boy' on YouTube.

I went to the Sociology office immediately after the lecture and made the huge mistake of requesting to read dissertations from last year. It was a moment of madness, in which I thought I would gain insight and inspiration. I didn't. It made me want to cry. How on earth, amongst everything else I've got to do, am I supposed to produce 13,000 words of a similar standard to this?

With an oral presentation looming at the end of the month however, I really do have to do something. Especially as Fuse FM begins it's 2oth broadcast in a couple of weeks, and with other modules to work for of course.

Oh god. I may as well buy a month's supply of penguin bars and a kettle and lock the door.

"So.....what are you doing after uni?"

If I get asked this one more time I WILL cry into my penguin bar, the chocolate biscuit which seems to be my comfort food of choice as I struggle through the beginning of 2010. Its probably a nostalgia thing. As I write this I am eating what is my fifth one of the evening. What can't penguins fly? Because they cant afford plane tickets. Brilliant.

And tea of course, the quintessentially British drink that this blog takes it's title from. The quote, from T'ien Yiheng (whoever that is) I feel is fitting - final year is rather an awful din and a nice cup of sugary tea really does seem to be my escape from it.

I decided to write this blog as a way of venting the angst that any final year university student goes through when facing the 'real world'. Unless of course you are a student who is horribly organised and already has a job come graduation, in which case I don't like you, please go away.

Its not that I don't know what I want to do, quite the opposite, I know exactly what I want to do. I am pursuing a career in the media. Yes, thats right, that ever popular industry that the whole world and its mother wants to 'get into', which is precisely my problem.

What path do I take? Do I do an expensive Broadcast Journalism course that seems to be the popular route or do I try and get a job? If so should I aim at local level, or aim high? Do I apply for traineeships or entry level positions? Am I actually good enough to get a job?

I have just submitted my first application (for the BBC - optimism never hurt anyone) and I feel I have made the first step in deciding the rest of my life. Scary huh?

So, as I apply for jobs, hopefully go to some interviews, make difficult decisions over what I want to do, whilst at the same time attempt to complete my degree and act as head of news for my radio station, I will be writing this blog, an account of my transition from tax dodger, to tax payer. Hopefully.